There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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