Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
