Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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