If i come over, it means nothing
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
