That's intense
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
