is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize