I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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