went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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