Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The feeling are messing with the penis
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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