if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
