So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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