If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
