Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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