Nicole vs. Life
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize