i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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