I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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