Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
one might say we're banned from that church
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
