I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
