ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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