i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
