do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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