i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
