I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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