Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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