he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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