i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
