just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize