We're like a lot better than the average bears
one two three fourrrrnication!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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