About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
