is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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