This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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