well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
