Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize