mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
