I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize