I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
