A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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