just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize