Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
