There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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