Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
