No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
