did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
