Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
