Having a random hookup so left but love u
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
