i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
