Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You have to summon your inner elephant
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
