sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
