My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
