What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
