like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
