Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
